Jude: The Seeker

Jude was a good kid who always followed the rules (but sometimes broke them). Growing up, he often felt a gentle nudge toward his spiritual side. He experienced mindfulness meditation at a young age (an idea he got from a kid’s magazine). He fell into silent awe at the beautiful old church his family attended (when they attended - usually Christmas and Easter). Middle school bullies forced him to find solace in his own heart and mind (because he found it nowhere else). The book on passage meditation he stole from his sister. Jedi Knights.

He went to a Catholic school through twelfth grade, like most of his friends and, growing up near Philadelphia, knew that other religions existed but knew nothing about them. He thought nearly everyone was Catholic. So, as he finished his psychology degree at Penn State, it seemed natural that he would go to the seminary to learn more about his faith, become a priest, have a deeper connection with God, and teach others to have the same.

Seminary frustrated him. Though he did learn to strengthen his faith and deepen his connection with God, mostly through the Christian mystics like Teresa of Avila, the bureaucracy and indoctrination disillusioned him. Instruction focused on dogma and procedure and very little on doing the work the Gospels demanded. He thought he chose the wrong order, like maybe he should have been a Franciscan or a Jesuit. Or maybe he should have just been a deacon. 

After three years he'd had enough. He loved the Catholic Church, but it seemed to him its methods limited God. So he left.

He wandered for ten years, taking odd jobs and spending much of his time trying to find a path that could lead him and others to God. He tried Episcopal churches, Methodist churches, Unitarian Universalists, and even dabbled in tarot, astrology, and drugs. He tried yoga and tai chi and strayed into Falun Dafa (but didn't stay long). He even read The Secretand The Celestine Prophecy, but it didn’t take much time to realize that they pointed in the wrong direction.

With the release of the iPod in the early 2000s and a new medium called podcasts, he came across Zencast, a combination of Buddhist teachings and meditation instruction. And with every listen, every sitting, he knew he came closer to where he belonged. His wandering brought him to San Diego where he found a home in the Dharma Bum Temple. He taught there. He prayed there. He held retreats. And after much discernment he left San Diego to start his own community elsewhere, under the guidance of his Dharma Bum mentor.

He sees himself now as a Buddhist Catholic, something the Buddhists don't seem to mind but makes the Catholics bristle. He's puzzling it out, but he sees and feels the overlap between what Buddha and Jesus taught.

When he looks out at the world these days, he sees the very long game, understanding that this will pass but knowing we must prepare ourselves for the rough ride. And we do that by training our minds and building our communities.